Welcome back to Clarkson's farm.
At the end of Jeremy's first year, Diddly Squat farm rewarded him with profits of ?144.
And while he's mastered the art of moaning, challenges still abound. Who knew loading a trailer was more demanding than flying a gunship? That cows were more dangerous than motor-racing? Or that it's easier to get planning permission for a nuclear power station than turning an old barn into a restaurant?
Life on Clarkson's farm may not always go according to plan. But not a day goes by when Jeremy can't say 'I've done a thing' and mean it…
Welcome to Clarkson's farm. It's an idyllic spot, offering picturesque views across the Cotswolds, bustling hedgerows, woodlands and natural springs. Jeremy always liked the idea being a farmer. But, while he was barrelling around the world having more fun with cars than was entirely reasonable, it seemed obvious that the actual, you know, farming was much better left to someone else
Then one day he decided he would do the farming himself.
After all, how hard could it be?
Well . . .
These days, you might know him better as a tractor-driving Gentleman Farmer, but Jeremy Clarkson wasn't always a horny-handed son of the soil.
Not at all . . .
Back in the day Jeremy was far more likely to be found gunning around the world in a haze of burnt rubber and petrol fumes. But life as a globe-trotting petrol-head also meant he was forced endure more than his fair share of foolishness, frustration and downright bafflement. And, while Jeremy may not a patient man, you have to ask why anyone should have to consider issues as diverse and perplexing as:
- The downsides of relaxing in a bath of crude oil
- Why fishing is for people who hate their kids
- Whether there are noise-cancelling headphones with the power to silence James May
- Why saving the planet means soggy paper straws and no more children
- What to do about the rambler who stole his marrow
But as puzzling and exasperating as life on the road often seemed to be, you could always count on Jeremy to set the world to rights with a rare wit and unique understanding. And at full throttle. Just don't expect it to all go smoothly . . .
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